A loveless marriage is a reality for many married families. Although there isn’t any love left, yet, making the decision to leave a marriage is scary. There is the fear of being alone and the possibility of an unknown future. This makes many couples stick with mediocrity, settling for low-level pain and dissatisfaction instead.
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Being in a Loveless Marriage is Not Easy
Divorce seems to be gaining momentum globally irrespective of class and/or religious affiliations. Most prefer to work at a relationship rather than cut and run. The question – how much is too much. Let us look at it objectively as to how being in a loveless relationship is not an easy ride.
Where did the Love of Your Life Disappear
The person who you fell in love with doesn’t exist anymore. Naturally, over time, everyone changes, some for the better, while others are so pedantic that they do not work at a relationship but take their partner for granted. Let’s say your partner, is selfish and does not make time for you, is it time to call it quits or shake things up a bit? Your partner may not approve of your choice, once s/he has realized a shift in the situation.
The question arises – should you be a doormat or not? Being taken for granted is not what you signed up for let your partner know and if s/he does not change, perhaps you need to do something.
Fun or Run?
When the spark disappears, do you cut and run or not? Many people prefer to have their cake and eat it too with a little nookie on the side. That is so not the solution. In fact, it can cause a good relationship to go out the door. But if your spouse thrives on cheating, you must do something soon. I don’t mean you need to follow suit.
You need to shower yourself with love, add some spark and see if s/he responds favourably. The question you need to ask is whether you are going to try again, and again, or have you exhausted your resources and want out? If the answer is yes and you want out, well, get a move on, after speaking to an unbiased person.
Substance Abuse in a Loveless Marriage
Living with an addict is not an easy ride. A person who needs a fix more often than anything else can leave you scared and unsure about how to deal. While your partner may not have exhibited this behaviour during the courtship, s/he may have during the course of your marriage. Once you notice the signs that may be overt or obvious, talk it out with her/him.
You may be a punching bag literally and figuratively speaking. Your choice is whether s/he can change with a dose of rehab. If your partner finds the substance more conducive, think things over and make a wise one decision.
Abuse in All its Avatars
Men and women find themselves at the receiving end of abuse for many reasons. If you are being abused with her/him showing remorse after the abuse, the situation may never change. Most abusers use power to keep their partner submissive.
S/he may not detest you, in fact, love may also factor, but the high that s/he gets with while hurting you is a cause for concern. This is one of the cruellest aspects of a relationship. Meet a reliable counsellor, and take a call on what you want, and whether it is worth it going down this road.
There are a variety of reasons as to why couples make it work, some even through the pain. If you are someone who believes in happy ever after and want to work at a relationship because the vows are sacred, do so, with a little help.
You don’t have to throw in the towel. However, if you are ready to move on from a loveless marriage, do so and don’t think back. You will be happier. Just don’t get into another committed relationship yet.